Hybrid cars and rancid cheese…

Terry:  I just don’t get it.  Everyone says they want people to buy hybrid cars.  It will help the environment. It will reduce American dependence on foreign oil.  It will stop us from destroying the ozone layer.  It will reduce the cost of health care (of course, they say that about everything they want you to do).  But, if they really want us to buy hybrids, why are they the ugliest cars on the market?

If I was in charge of things, I would make broccoli taste like chocolate and and all the stuff that isHybrid Comparison bad for you (that we really love) smell and taste really bad.  Like rancid cheese.  That would make sense because it would naturally cause us to eat the things we should and stay away from the things that we shouldn’t.

With hybrid cars, just like with kale (sorry, Mom), we have just the opposite.  They are supposed to be good for us, but they are about as appealing as a wet sheep on a hot day.  If I wanted people to buy them, I would make a hybrid that looks like a 1968 Mustang Fastback. Sure, it would still be as slow as a hybrid…but no one would care.  Because it would look really fast.  Even when it glided silently by.

Mike:  Not bad.  But, I like broccoli…..and if you made everything taste like chocolate why would you need chocolate.  It isn’t going to matter how much you reduce American dependence of foreign oil, lower demand to date has only translated to higher prices . That’s a trend not soon to be reversed.

Did you know that the ozone layer would repair itself in only a few weeks if all forms of transportation and manufacturing that are polluting the air were to cease even for a short time.  A great start would be to shut down all drive up windows, design roads with better access and fewer stoplights, and get out the measuring sticks on cloudy and rainy days to curtail the overdumping of polluting chemicals by those who think nobody is looking into the clouds.

As for turning the hybrid into a Mustang because it’s ugly, thats pretty demeaning to the fabled Mustang. Why not just make a really nice looking, non-oil dependent car that comes with a legal requirement to abstain from using drive up windows. And if you don’t want it to be silent as it rolls by you can always get spoke hubcaps and clothespin a card to it like we did with our bicycles when we were young.  It’s non-polluting and will put all those useless decks of cards to good use after one card is lost.

As for the sheep reference, I suppose it’s a matter of perspective.  If you’ve been wandering in the desert for a few days with no food or water a wet sheep might be just the meal ticket.   Other than that observation you’re on your own with that sheep reference.

In any event, like most realities, the hybrid car looks, rides, operates, and performs far better on paper that it does on the road.  A Mustang fastback wannabe that is, in reality, Edsel II.

Terry:  Wow, I thought I was going ancient with a ’68 GT.  That Edsel reference really dates you. You want to shed some light on how to hand crank a Model T?

So…a legal requirement to abstain from drive up windows.  I guess you would have a “Cop-in-the-Box” to enforce the regulations.  Wouldn’t we create just as much pollution with all those low speed chases around parking lots with the driver trying to eat the evidence before they got caught (“Quick…stash the fries…I can’t afford another DUW!”)?  What if you called in your order on the way and they just threw the bag of food at you as you drive BY instead of driving UP? Does that count as an infraction?

Actually, I like broccoli, too.  But now, brussel sprouts…

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